If you think that writing your personal wedding or commitment vows and then pledging those vows at your ceremony is the end of them, think again. The power in your vows is partly in the writing, partly in the pledging, and even more importantly in keeping them alive.

Here are 3 ways you can keep your vows in front of you and active.

1. Reread those vows every single day.
2. Once a month sit down together to review the previous month.
   
3. Follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage

If you take little steps to keep things alive and thriving, passionate and intimate, you will not get to the point of no return, or hard work, or struggle to make things work.

You see, I contribute much of the problems with relationships to the belief that marriage takes hard work.

What if the truth is that a little attention on an ongoing basis is the best recipe for a fantastic and fabulous marriage and relationship?

What you are going to do is to continue to reinforce the dream you have for your life together.

By keeping those vows in front of you, you are actually writing a strong life operating system.

You are going to make that dream so alive that you will automatically be drawn to those things, people, opportunities, experiences and ideas that support the dream that you took time to write down as vows.

Read your vows every day. Laminate 2 copies of your vows. This way they won’t wear out.

Here are some ways to make reading your vows a habit:

• Read your vows by yourself every night before going to bed. That way you ’sleep’ on them and infuse them into your dreams.
• Read your vows by yourself every morning before going off to work. This is a great way to start your day.
• Read your vows together every night or every morning.
• If you read your vows by yourself then at least once or twice a month read them together. This opens the opportunity for meaningful conversation. Your challenges will never get away on you if you do this.

Once a month sit down and review the previous month.

If you read your vows together every day this will pretty much take care of itself. However, you might still choose to have a monthly check-in.

Choose a specific night each month and stick to it. You might have a list of questions that you answer.

Follow the 10 Commandments of Marriage.

You can print out a copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage on the WeddingVowsandCeremonies web site.

Post them in a place where you can see them often as an in-your-face reminder.

They are simple practical and easy to follow suggestions, such as ‘Live with appreciation for all things”–compliment each other often.

Since your personal wedding or commitment vows is the single most important tool that you have in your relationship toolbox, get them out and use them. They may literally save your marriage or partnership.

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

A quote from the Buddha came across my desk today and immediately I thought about writing personal wedding and commitment vows because what I have been trying to get through to everyone who reads my articles is this: Your thinking creates your reality!

This one discovery is the basis for my innovative philosophy around writing personal and unique wedding, marriage, commitment or life vows.

Here’s how the Buddha put it: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our world.”

When I ask you to sit down together and talk consciously and deliberately about the life you want to live as a married couple, I am asking you to put into words exactly what it is that you want to experience in your marriage and your world.

Then I counsel you to write your vows as the promises you make to each other describing what you are willing to do to make that dream a reality.

I ask you to talk about money and sex, children, family, careers, friends, houses, cars, travel, etc. I ask you to do that so you have to actually look at what you want in your life and create a strong intention or mental picture.

You may think you know what you want but the truth is you really don’t because you drag, carry, and bring along all your old patterns, habits and thoughts.

By sitting down together and writing your own vows after consciously building a clear and focused dream for your life and the life of your marriage or partnership, you are ‘making your world with your thoughts‘ and doing it deliberately.

Deliberately, is the word.

When you craft a vision or dream deliberately you actually paint pictures in your mind. Those pictures have color, depth, sound, smell, touch and substance. When your pictures–your thoughts–are strong enough they become a magnet!

Here’s an important fact for you: Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

Your subconscious mind is that aspect of your body/mind that acts without thinking. It just does. It takes what has been programmed by our parents, extended family, culture, personal experiences, and religion, and goes about making that true. We don’t think about it we just do it.

When you take the time to sit down together and consciously and deliberately talk about the dream you have for your life and your marriage and then write it down, you are saying to Higher Power:

“Here’s the picture, here’s what we want, now go out and find things, people, experiences and ideas that match, thank you very much!”

Then when you are exposed to what matches you have the eyes and senses to recognize it.

You are ‘living the dream.’ And you didn’t even have to work hard at it.

You just had to keep it alive and in front of you.

• Reread your vows once every day.
• Do little things for each other.
• Say ‘thank you’ to each other at least once a day.
• Say ‘I love you’ every day.
• Never go to bed angry.

Let’s paraphrase what the Buddha said:

“Everything that shows up in our lives we put there. With a strong vision and powerful vows we make a world of our choice!”

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

Writing personal wedding or commitment vows the way I suggest that you do, by sitting down together in inspired and conscious conversation, infusing the dream you have for yourself and for your life together into the vows, may take an act of courage.

Since I ask you to look at various aspects of your life together honestly and courageously as part of the process of writing your own vows, many of you most likely will have to step out of your comfort zone.

It will take courage (guts) to look at your life as you want it to be or as you imagine it to be. That’s what I call ‘the dream.’

Courage!

Maybe more people do not take the time to get clear about their life together, about their goals and what they want out of life because they are afraid that they are not actually compatible in the long run.

• They want different things
• Their values are not in alignment (She love to travel, he wants to sit home and watch sports.)

Courage!

ou will not be able to create a substantial and strong vision, or dream for your marriage if you don’t actually sit down and talk about your life together.That’s what writing wedding vows are all about: the opportunity of a lifetime!

Courage!

I want you to sit down together in conscious and inspired conversation and talk about careers, children, sex, money, in-laws, religion and spirituality, values, houses, cars, vacations, philanthropy, etc.

Get your thoughts down on paper where you have to look at them.

Courage!

You HAVE to talk about what you want. You have to get a sense if in the long term you both are on the same page.

• Do you both want the same things.
• Are your values in alignment
• Are your goals compatible
• Do your lifestyles support each other

If the match is really not there you can recognize it and talk about it. You can plan on how to create that compatibility, because you can; or you may realize that sex is all that holds you together and walk away.

Courage!

No guts, no glory!!!

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

Writing your own personal and unique wedding or commitment vows can be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity if you take the experience seriously and write your vows as though your married life depended on it. Because it very possibly could.

Since half of all first time marriages end in divorce, you’ve got to do everything you can to create an atmosphere of fun, trust, intimacy, and growth without making it hard or difficult.

Because we don’t have time to do things the ‘hard way.’

Infuse the dream you have for your life into your vows. Then write down and promise what you will do to keep those vows alive and thriving and growing.

You can use many resources to find ways to script those vows. I gave you 10 in the 10 Commandments of Marriage and here I offer you many more examples for you to build inspiration and truth from.

The source comes from a veternarian. The name didn’t come through the resource where I found it so I can’t give credit where it is due.

There is a short story behind it though. It seems that the beloved dog of a family with a young son had to be euthanized. The parents were concerned that the boy would be traumatized by the event. They tried to console the boy by telling him that they didn’t know why the dog had to die but that there was a reason and they couldn’t know what it was.

The young son already had it figured out, and announced, “I know why.”

His explanation was pure simplicity. He said: “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life—like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right? Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

The veterinarian who cared for this dear family pet, offered some other lessons that dogs can teach us:

• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Dogs treat us like celebrities when we come home. There’s nothing wrong with showing people that we care about them.
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. On warm days, there’s nothing wrong with stopping to lie on your back on the grass. I think of Richard Gere’s character in the movie Pretty Woman. He was so busy working—doing big business deals—that he never stopped to enjoy walking barefoot in green grass until Julia Roberts showed him.
• Take naps. Many of us are on overload, so in life you have to know when to throttle up and throttle down. If you can’t take a nap, at least take a break. It will improve your disposition.
• Run, romp, and play daily. If you have a chance to have fun, go for it. Life presents plenty of difficult times, and we all need a break every now and then. My motto: work hard and play hard.
• Let people touch you. Don’t be aloof. Allow people to get close to you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. Just make sure your bark isn’t as bad as your bite. It’s okay to warn people that you’re upset or even angry, but keep your temper in check.
• When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body. Happiness is the American way. After all, the Declaration of Independence says we are endowed “with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” So we have a right to be happy!
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Exercise is always good. I’ve been doing it all my life. It just makes me feel better, gives me energy to work more productively and, I hope, live longer. My philosophy is: Exercise doesn’t take time; it makes time.
• Be loyal. In a recent column about loyalty, I wrote that one of the first qualities that I look for in both employees and friends is loyalty. And my friends know they can expect my loyalty in return.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. I’m constantly asked what the secret of success is, and persistence is at the top of the list. When you study truly successful people, you’ll see that they have made plenty of mistakes, but when they were knocked down, they kept getting up … and up … and up.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. People remember two things in life—who kicked them when they were down, and who helped them on the way up.

You might write something like this into your vows: “I promise to pay attention to what nature and animals have to teach us about love and acceptance and use what I learn.”

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

See sign-up to pick up a FREE copy of the 10 Commandments of Marriage or follow through main link to main page.

Because the most effective and long lasting vows comes from writing your personal vows after an inspired conversation where you get to the heart of how your want your marriage to be, the vows you write may be too personal to share in front of a lot of other people at your ceremony.

If that is the case then write something simple for the ceremony. Sort of an abbreviated version. Keep it in the same spirit as the longer more intimate vows. This is important.

Then plan a special time where you exchange your original vows.

Go to a park or find a memorable location because this memory will become entwined with this mini-celebration ceremony. You may want to do this entirely alone or you might want to invite a few close friends or family.

The important thing is to do this in a way that you give it meaning and authority. Remember, this document is a life guide. You want it to have all the power that you can.

Begin by taking hold of each other’s hands to create a circle of energy. This puts you both on the same ‘wavelength.’

Then just begin talking. When you are ready read your vows to each other.

You might want to have a little ritual that would be special to you.

You could do the Unity candle thing where each of you light a candle and then using your own light, together light a third candle.

Stick your fingers and mingle your blood!

Toast your vows and the life they represent.

There are many ways–you can find something special and unique to you that will help you remember the energy, the vision and dream you are promising to do everything you can to make successful.

Actually, the more fun and outrageous your ritual, the more memorable and the more you will associate this with the dream you have for your life together.

Keep your dream and your vows in front of you every day. Read those vows and continue to impress them into your mind, your body, your life. When you do you will be ‘living the dream’ easily and effortlessly!

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

Here’s the link to the main home page: www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

In my wedding vow and LifeVows one day events, I ask couples and individuals to answer three very important questions before writing their personal vows? The one I want to talk about right now is this one: “What makes you come alive?”

Too often one or the other of the couples will think that at some time an activity, career, or passion has to be abandoned.

While the premise might seem to be valid, due to circumstances, I want you to rethink that because if there is something in your life that has given you great passion and aliveness, driven your life on some gut level, and give it up, you withdraw a spark and an energy that was a contributing element in your relationship.

Let me tell you about a man I met today, which is what made me decide to write this article. His name is, well I’m not going to tell you so let’s just call him Jon. He’s from another country and played with a very well known rock band. I even looked it up on the Internet. This band is hot all over the world!

He fell in love with the American singer in the band, married her and moved to this country.

He has given up his career as a rock musician. I asked him whether or not he is going to see about finding another band. He said that now that he was married that wouldn’t work. He was going to ‘give up music.’

I suggested that there might be another way to channel that music and he replied to me that a baby was coming and then there would be no time, and no money to purchase musical ‘things.’ (You can see right there that I don’t know a whole lot about music.)

What I do know about is that as he withdraws his musical life and his passion for it, even if it is a legitimate exchange, he is going to bury, cut off, and supress a part of himself that is like breathing.

It is a chamber of his beating heart stuffed full of cotton!

His marriage and his child is going to suffer because the more he tries to hold that energy, that love, that passion in, the more he will become distant and unhappy.

So then, the message I have for you today about writing personal wedding vows is that when you ask yourself and each other the question: “What makes me (you) come alive” and you answer that, you must discuss how that will remain part of your lives.

I want you to write something like this into your vows: “I promise that I will encourage you to follow your passion; to help you find ways to integrate it into your life and the life of our marriage so that you will never lose your connection to yourself and your source.”

If you are reading this and you are already married make sure that you do not allow your partner to let go or break away from something that gives him or her great joy, passion and purpose. Everyone will lose.

You MUST find a way to ensure that whatever it is that makes each of you come alive will always be a part of your lives in some way.

It is true that it might have to shift gears and go in a different direction. My friend is probably reasoning rightly that at this time in his life his family is more important than playing with a band that travels all over the world.

That doesn’t mean that he can’t redirect that passion. If I have the occasion to talk to him again and the opportunity would come up I would say to him, “Block out at least 1-2 hours every week to engage in your music. Just put the word out into the Universe, ask your Higher Power, to help you find a way that will satisfy your passion.

Then watch for the ways that your desire will be fulfilled, because it will, if you are awake and aware.

It isn’t selfish.

Your marriage, your partnership and your family will benefit in untold ways by allowing that life force to flow free.

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

Writing wedding or commitment vows is the opportunity each of you have to talk about the highest and best intentions that you can imagine for yourself and for your partner.

Your vows are the place where you promise to support yourself and your partner in becoming the highest and best each of you can be.

The first of the 10 Commandments of Marriage is Honor Yourself. The second commandment is Honor Each Other.

It may seem strange that the first commandment is about yourself. Yet if you hold yourself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise your values you can trust each other absolutely.

This trust is the basis for everything else that defines your life and your marriage.

Write this in your wedding vows: “I promise to hold myself high with integrity and self respect and never compromise my values.”

When you stay ‘high’ from living out of your core values and practice doing what makes you come alive, you have more patience, more love, more compassion for everyone including your partner

Here’s a priceless quote from Marianne Williamson:

“Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to support another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives.

“They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.”

You are meant to access the highest parts of who you are and in the process learn to see the best in your partner.

Constantly strive to expand your capacities for learning, playing, loving, trusting, praying (whatever that means to you) and playing.

The strongest relationship develops when each partner can hold the ‘high watch’ for the other.

This means that when your partner has forgotten who they are, where they are, what they are doing, or where they are going, you remember for them.

You continue to treat them as though they were still present in their fullness.

You continue to see the best in them.

You practice forgiveness!

This may not be easy to do. That’s why it’s important to keep reading your vows over and over and over again.

Every day affirm that you are awake, aware, and living your highest and greatest good.

Write this in your vows and then put it on a card in the present moment so you have to look at it every morning:

“Everyday I will remember to live my life from the highest perspective I can imagine.”

It helps you remember every day who you are, who your partner is, where you are going and how to recognize when you are off the path.

Can you see what an amazing tool writing your own wedding or commitment vows can be? They are your compass, your map, and your course correction.

Look and read them often and you will never get lost; you will be able to continue to see the best in yourself, and the best in your partner.

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

Linda has a unique and innovative approach to writing wedding vows and how to keep living the dream!  You can read more at www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com.

Be sure to download a copy of the FREE ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I originally wrote this for people who show up at the web site looking for help but they have only a few days or minutes to write their vows. The phrases, words, poems and other materials are helpful to everyone. See sign-up box at top. or go to main page, www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com 

Writing wedding or commitment vows are an opportunity to get to the core of not only the dream you have for your life together but also to create an opportunity to discuss the behaviors and habits you return to over and over again when you feel vulnerable or afraid.

What I’m asking you to do is not be so ‘bullish.’

This is a fascinating phenomena: In the bullfighting arena expert matadors have long gained an edge by pinpointing a bull’s comfort zone. In bullfighting there is a term called querencia. The querencia is the spot in the ring to which the bull returns over and over.

Each bull has a different querencia, but as the bullfight continues, and the animal becomes more threatened, it returns more and more often to his spot. As he returns to his querencia, he becomes more predictable and more vulnerable.

Sticking with what’s comfortable might be one of the deadliest habits of all.

Each of us has our own ’spot.’ It’s a behavior or habit we retreat to when we become frightened, angry, sad, frustrated, or disappointed.

When we feel vulnerable we become predictable.

What is the comfort zone that you return to when threatened?

In other words what is the habit that you repeat over and over that makes you feel safe but doesn’t serve your highest and greatest good?

Perhaps you retreat into yourself and ‘cave’ up. You build a wall around yourself and won’t talk. You push other people away. You sit alone and feel sorry for yourself.

One of my daughters used to put up a wall so thick no one could ever get through. You knew it by her body language and if anyone attempted to get through she became so angry that people ran from her. Sometimes forever. When I recognized this was her ‘comfort zone’ I simply wrapped my arms around her and held on, physically and emotionally.

Maybe you talk and talk and talk about ‘it.’ You talk about ‘it’ so often that eventually you become so distant from the situation you never resolve it. People don’t even want to be around you. This is death to a relationship! If you haven’t kept your vows in front of you you won’t even see it.

Maybe you go to the gym and ‘work’ it out. Except what you are doing is actually working it in where you will have to deal with it again sooner or later.

In preparation for writing your wedding vows ask yourself, “What is it that I do over and over again that does not help me stay on course or grow?”

Once you understand what that is, talk to your partner and ask him or her to help you to find a more productive and positive way of handling your disappointments, frustrations, anger, sadness, etc. Ask them to not be intimidated. Ask them to see something bigger and better for you.

Write this into your wedding or commitment vows.

“I will stay open to new ways of doing things, both for myself, and for us as a couple. I will not be afraid to move away from my comfort zone when it is important to my growth, or your growth or the highest and greatest good of our marriage and partnership.”

Your personal and unique wedding or commitment vows are so much more than you think. They are the most important tool you can ever have in your own personal toolbox and the toolbox of your marriage!

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

* * *

Linda has a unique and innovative perspective on writing wedding vows in shared conversation. She outlines her guidelines for writing vows in her Ebook, THE SECRET LIVE OF VOWS

She wrote the 30 Minute Miracle for couples and individuals who come to the web site at the last minute and do not have time to use her more dynamic guidelines. The lists of phrases, words and readings are a good companion for anyone. Use link or sign up box at top.

Be sure to pick up the totally free, 10 Commandments of Marriage. You don’t even have to leave your Email. This is a gift for you from Rev. Linda.

When you write your unique wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation infusing a dream into them and promising what you will do to keep that dream alive, you are ‘jumping the shark.’

‘Jumping the shark,’ is a phrase that came as a result of an old Fonzie episode on TV.

It’s accepted meaning is to do something radical and unusual to get back on course. But there are negative connotations also. Some definitions would say that it’s all over ‘when the Fonz has jumped.”

However, what those descriptions do not seem to take into account is that after that episode where the Fonz actually jumped on water skies over a shark contained in an enclosure, the show went on to produce 100 more episodes!

I want you to ‘jump the shark’ even before a jump is needed.

I want you to get very clear about the dream you have for your marriage. (That’s the core of my philosophy.) But I also want you to talk about an experience that sooner or later is going to come up in your marriage:

You are going to find yourself going off course . . .

You are going to realize that your relationship is in danger of becoming mediocre . . .

You will realize that your relationship needs an infusion of intimacy, energy, laughter, and conversation.

Take all this into account when you sit down together to talk about the dream you have for your marriage. Be honest with each other that sooner or later your relationship is going to need a little reinvigoration; that you are going to need to give it a little boost.

I am suggesting that you to ‘jump the shark’ now and build that course correction into the writing your wedding vows.

“But, Rev. Linda,” you say. “We are so madly in love. That’s not going to change!”

I want remind you that divorce statistics prove otherwise: Fifty percent of 1st time marriages will end within 4 years.

Somehow those couples who were madly and gladly in love fell sadly and madly out of love!

If you spend some time up front that won’t happen to you. Here’s what I want you to do:

• Write your wedding or commitment vows in shared conversation.
• Talk about the dream you have for your life together.
• Be honest that the dream you gave voice to will sometimes get a little flat and the core values you established may be compromised.
• Promise to be the first to take the initiative to get things back on course.
• Write that promise into your vows: “I promise that I will be mindful our our promises to each other and take the initiative if I realize that things are not measuring up to our standards.”
• Reread your vows every day even after the ceremony. This keeps the dream and the promises right in front of you. You will be more able to recognize when things are veering off course.

What you want to do is to ‘jump the shark’ before there’s even a shark to jump. Having fun and being intimate on an ongoing basis will help you keep your dream alive and thriving.

• Make love on the kitchen floor!
• Go out for a long walk.
• Hold hands for 1 minute every day.
• Take a ’sleepover’ trip even if it is only for one night in a hotel close to home.
• I had a friend who wrapped herself in saran wrap and waited at the front door with a scissors in her hand!
• This same friend had a picnic on the living room floor in winter complete with bathing suits and an ant farm.

By writing your own vows, reviewing those vows, taking time to have fun and talk, your marriage or partnership will continue to so strong that there will be no fish big enough to need jumping!

Love, light and laughter,Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

For more about my innovative philosophy about writing wedding vows and what it could do for you see the Main Web Page

Getting your partner to agree to and participate in writing wedding or commitment vows might seem like a stretch of your imagination but I can give you a way to make writing your vows fun and he/she won’t even know that you are doing it until it’s too late to turn back.

This may be a bit sneaky and shameless but considering that writing your wedding vows can be one of the most important things you can ever to do to ensure the longevity, passion and intimacy of your relationship, I know you want to do everything you can to get this into motion.

Here’s what you are going to do. You and your partner are going to create a vision board!

This is just one of the idea generators you can find in my Ebook, THE SECRET LIFE OF VOWS-How to Write Vows That Create Powerful Marriages.

A vision board is where you paste pictures and phrases that represent the dreams and goals you each have for yourselves and the dream you have for your marriage. Your vows will reflect those dreams. Maybe we could call your marriage or commitment vows ‘vision vows!’

Because that’s really what your vows are. The more energy in your vows, the more power there is to attract to you everything that you want and need to support your perfect dream.

Start collecting magazines on all sorts of subjects including travel, houses, furniture, family, fitness, etc. Make sure that you have the sort of print media that your partner is interested in. You should know him or her well enough to get the perfect stuff.

You can go to Google and click on ‘Images’ then keyword in what you are looking for, find something you can print out and you have instant images of your life together. Maybe you have phrases in mind. You can print out these also.

Ask your friends for magazines. If you are in a dentist or doctor’s office and the magazines are really old ask if you can have the one that you want.

Get together pictures taken of the two of you doing fun things and pictures that represent the emotional and physical closeness that is the cornerstone of a relationship and marriage.

You will need glue and scissors and poster board or foam board (for longevity). The pictures and words will represent aspects of your life.

Don’t get too bossy or direct the outcome. Just tell your partner that the two of you are going to cut out and glue pictures and words that represent what it is that you want to attract into your life and let the process unfold. Have fun. Don’t be too serious.

When you have finished the board each of you explain to the other the meaning of the pictures and phrases. Between the two of you most subjects will be covered.

Here’s where some of the sneaky stuff comes in. When your partner talks about the meaning of the images and words on the board ask questions to get to the heart of the overall dream for the marriage.

“What does that mean to you? How do you see ‘us’ in that picture?”

“What do you think we can do to make that happen?”

“There are no children in the picture. Don’t you want children?”

“Who will handle the money? How can we share this responsibility so that we are saving to be able to have what we want?”

That will give you some idea. You can come up with your own.

What I am asking you to do is to get to the essence of the dream for your life together.

That dream is what you build into your vows. You wedding vows are not the dream explained; they are the foundation that the vows are build on.

Your vows are for the purpose of making promises to each other explaining what you will do to support the dream.

Now it’s time to tell your partner what you have done.

Use reason here. Don’t get cocky and say something like, “Ha, Ha, I tricked you into telling me your secrets.”

Tell him or her that you want to write vows based around what you just talked about. Get out some paper and then begin to write down those promises. If you can do it right then and there that is best because the emotion and expectations of and for the dream are at their peak.

Here is what you can say: “Let’s write down what we are going to do to keep our dreams alive?”

“I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy for both our sakes.”

“I will love you by encouraging you to be successful in everything you do.”

“I promise to read our vows every day to keep the dream alive and active.”

You can find more helpful phrases in the FREE Ebook, 30 Minute Miracle. I wrote this for couples who don’t have time to use my longer version. It would be helpful for you using this ‘vision board’ process. (See sign up box)

There you have it. Your ‘vision vows.’

Was that fun or what!

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda Bardes, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and live it!

www.WeddingVowsandCeremonies.com