When writing your wedding vows I want you to remember that you are in it for the long haul and write your vows based on the dream you have for your life together on a long term basis. This means more than just ‘being’ in love. Which has been often defined as ‘temporary madness.’

Your vows are about creating a strong, foundational love and enjoying all the benefits that means for a very long time.

Let’s look a bit at the idea of being in love and how it relates to your wedding or commitment vows by reading this quote from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. You might even choose to have someone read it at your wedding ceremony.

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.

That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

I want you to write your wedding or marriage vows so that they are powerful enough to twine your branches into one trunk without taking away what is individual to both of you.

Some Hydrangea bushes have pink blossoms on one side and blue blossoms on the other. They have one root system but two different and unique colors on the same bush.

Have a big, long term dream for your own lives and for the life of your marriage.

Make it come alive by keeping that dream in front of you by reading the vows or part of them every day; putting together a vision board that you have in front of you where you have to look at it often; and by reading the 10 Commandments of Marriage.

Too many marriages end because they fall from fantasy without a safety net to secure them. They live only in the present and have no real future life.

Your vows are your safety net. They are the promises of what you are going to do to keep the dream of your marriage alive and thriving and intimate. Write them with purpose, passion and have fun doing it!

Download the totally free 10 Commandments of Marriage and get more information on how to write vows that help you make the transition from fantasy into long term reality.

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach

Helping couples write down the dream and then live it!

By Rev. Linda

Did you know that more advances and discoveries having to do with how the mind works were made in the 1990’s than ever before? I mention that because that is knowledge that you can use when it comes to writing your wedding vows and using them to create a mental foundation for your marriage.

What I want you to do is to take the discoveries about how the mind works and integrate them into the writing your wedding vows. Create wedding vows with intention and mindfulness. What you are doing is giving your subconscious, or emotional mind, a very clear purposeful direction.

Because, you see, one of those discoveries I was talking about was that your subconscious mind (sort of like an operating system for a computer which can’t do anything it hasn’t been previously programmed to do unless its program is rewritten) doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

That one discovery has vast and very important implications for you. Because you can make your mind believe whatever you want. You can imprint a design and if you do it with passion and purpose, continue to reinforce and support that imprint, it will eventually become the operating system and you will automatically think, act, react, and live your life and the life of your marriage from those standards.

You will be creating values with enormous potential by taking some time to write your wedding vows. To talk about them together.

Do not go off into separate rooms at separate times to write vows that you can surprise your spouse with at the time of the wedding. It’s important that you sit down and talk together and paint your wedding vows with the colors of your imagination verbalized.

I want you to have the most amazing beautiful life possible. All I’m asking is that you take a little time to get clear about what it is you want, talk about it, write it out, pledge it and then keep on reviewing it over and over and over and over.

To help you ‘keep the dream alive’ pick up the totally free 10 Commandments of Marriage.

Love, light and laughter,

Rev. Linda, The Wedding Vow Coach
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Having spent time in conversation talking about important aspects of your life together in preparation to writing your wedding or marriage vows, have you talked about MONEY? Your money, his/her money, ‘our’ money.

Money is as intimate, personal, and sensual as sex. You will think about money as often or more often than sex!

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I have asked you to begin writing your personal vows together in shared conversation where each of you talk about the dream you have for your individual lives and the dream you both have for your marriage or partnership but what this really is, is an exercise in communication.

You are going to find out if you really are on the same page, so to speak. This means that you both are going to question what it is you think you heard your partner say.

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When writing your own personal and unique wedding or commitment vows, what you are doing is lining up your sight with your vision. You are going to intentionally begin seeing with new eyes.

Sight is the mechanics of seeing what is out in front of you and taking it in and making judgments based on that information.

Vision is the dream you have for your life together created first in your imagination and then seen it through your eyes.

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Every day find a way to show appreciation to people you love. When writing your personal wedding or commitment vows find a way to add this or something like it into your vows: “I will remember to tell you ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ every day and not take for granted the little things you do to make life easier and happier.”

Not only show appreciation to your partner and your children, if you have any, but to other people who give you service.

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A lucid dream is one in which you control the outcome. You actually become conscious in your dream and take on the role of director rather than your dream taking you all over the place in whatever way it wants.

Dream therapists say that we can change our lives by becoming lucid dreamers.

I say it in a different way. I tell you that when the time comes to be writing your own wedding or commitment vows, that you must sit down together and get very clear about the dream you have for your life together.

This is your waking dream. This is the dream that is your marriage or your partnership.

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Your wedding vows have more power than you might imagine. But the power comes not so much from the writing of your wedding or commitment vows but from continuing to read those vows every day.

Sometimes you read your vows by yourself and other times you read your vows together-at least once a week.

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Your wedding or commitment vows are for the purpose of creating dreams that give you passion for Life and Each Other.

Commandment #3 is about staying passionate–with yourself, your partner and the third entity which is the marriage.

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Lately I am hearing all sorts of news about the problems with new marriages. This last item was about infidelity. It’s estimated that within the first year anywhere from 20%-50% of couples will have been unfaithful to their partners. The explanation is that this is a cry for help because of intimacy issues! It forces conversation and help.

The best time to talk about infidelity is not after it happens but before it happens, when you are sitting down and in the process of writing your wedding vows. That’s why I put together my innovative and unique perspective around writing wedding or commitment vows.

BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO HAVE EVERY CHANCE POSSIBLE TO HAVE A HAPPY, PASSIONATE AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.

IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN.

A STRONG INTIMATE MARRIAGE HAS TO BE PLANNED FOR!

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